This is Emery Sheldon. In this picture he is 32 years old. Two weeks ago, September 21, 2023 he died and will forever be 32 years old. He is my son. I have lost two sons in two years. I have no more words.

Old young mother. LOL

      It's been almost two years now since my sweet great grand sons came to live with me. They are now 11 and 13 years old. I already knew what a challenge it would be, because in 1996 my husband and I adopted three of our grandchildren. So far I have to admit that raising these two alone (husband died in 2007) has been easier than raising the first three adopted grandchildren. However, showing up at elementary school for open house, mingling with all the "young" parents has made me feel a bit out of place; much more than the first time around. Since this is year two, I was not asked if the parents were around to answer questions. The two schools are familiar with me now and very accommodating.

     Thanks to a wonderful, generous friend, their school clothes are completely covered this year. School supplies were gathered up from what wasn't used last year and what was still needed was donated by State Farm Insurance agent Amy Bliss.

     In the last two years we have had major home catastrophes. Three major water line breaks, trees dropping limbs on the house, causing holes during rainy season that I didn't find right away. Two water heater replacements and then, of course, the ongoing battle with rats. 

     God is so good, He is my source of supply. PTL It will be interesting to see how God works this all out. His mercies are new every morning.

 Being a very old lady, raising pre-teen and tween boys is very challenging. I am blessed with the best boys ever, so it could be much harder. However, as good as they are, it can't change the challenges of old age. I now have to integrate their school schedules with my doctor appointments. I have to arrange alternate transportation at times due to the fact that I can't drive long distances, at night, in the rain. 

Money is an issue also. I've never asked for state aid and I don't have guardianship of the boys. I'm on a fixed income, so the boys and I plan each and every spending event. They are easy to please and so helpful. I am truly blessed.

One of the boys is home sick this week with a bad cold and the other one just got his very first student ID card. I am working with the school to get him into cross country running. He is so excited. It will all work out. God's mercies are new every morning.

 

God is so good. He protects and comforts and holds us when we are grieving or afraid. He also is with us when we face responsibilities we don't want or we aren't prepared for.

My heart is still tender after losing my son and tears are always on the edge of my eyes. I am also blessed to have new responsibilities to distract from these deeply painful times. 

At this time in my life I am now raising two of my grandsons. They are 10 and 13.  It's a long story that so many others are experiencing right now. Their single mother and her boyfriend have found themselves homeless. As they navigate their frightening new world I have taken in the boys, so they can have a stable place and go back to school and have solid nutritional meals.

This is challenging for all of us. I live in a 55+ community and I am not allowed to have minors living with me, so we/they live in secret. They are amazingly good and understanding boys. We have been living like this since January 2022. They missed two years of school due to the pandemic, but they are both getting back on track. We have had a myriad of hurdles to overcome, but God is opening doors and preparing the way for us to continue.

I'm so blessed to be a part of their lives and for them to help fill the emptiness in mine at this time.

 Grieving is so bitterly painful. It feels as though it will never end. At the same time not grieving anymore feels traitorous. I can never feel free of the grief I feel for the loss of my son. Everyday presents a new opportunity to start putting the grief behind me; or at least beside me and moving on to the next day and the next. However, every thought or spoken word or experience is a memory of what was or what was planned and it just hurts so bad. I know that God's mercies are new every morning and that is what I cling to.

 My son died yesterday.

 

 Last September my son (52) and I bought this manufactured home in a 55 and over park. I told you about that I think. Excuse me if I repeat myself. We thought it was going to be our forever home and we sat smiling and looking around thinking how we would make it "ours". Within two weeks things started going wrong. Well.....right away we found overwhelming evidence of rats and mice in the house. Call in the Orkin Man!!! Then the hot water heater died. Our home warranty was called and after $600 out of my pocket was shelled over we had a new hot water heater. 

I told you about my son being in ICU last February. He is now in a nursing home under hospice care. Alone I have had to empty 4 large storage units and bring everything home in order to save money and not lose this "mouse house". Every spare minute I have, and when visitors are allowed for hospice patients, I am at the nursing home with John. He is scared. According to the hospice doctor, John was not expected to live more than a few days when he was admitted. This is month three. He has an incredible will to live. He says he is not scared of dying, because Jesus lives in his heart and he knows where he is going, but he is a bit afraid of the journey, because he has to take it alone.

It's raining and cold outside today and I'm going to be busy trying to purge myself of most of what came home from storage. I may end up having an estate sale or something. Right now my rooms are wall to wall boxes, bins, totes, baskets, odds and ends of furniture, rolling tool boxes etc. Problems with the "mouse house" continue; non working light fixtures, garbage disposal backing up, antiquated appliances not performing. 

You know what? It will all work out. God's mercies are new every morning. God, just wrap your arms around John and his two children and give them peace and hope. Please meet them at their point of need, because you know what that is even if I don't. Praise you and thank you for your love. In Jesus name, Amen