Being a very old lady, raising pre-teen and tween boys is very challenging. I am blessed with the best boys ever, so it could be much harder. However, as good as they are, it can't change the challenges of old age. I now have to integrate their school schedules with my doctor appointments. I have to arrange alternate transportation at times due to the fact that I can't drive long distances, at night, in the rain. 

Money is an issue also. I've never asked for state aid and I don't have guardianship of the boys. I'm on a fixed income, so the boys and I plan each and every spending event. They are easy to please and so helpful. I am truly blessed.

One of the boys is home sick this week with a bad cold and the other one just got his very first student ID card. I am working with the school to get him into cross country running. He is so excited. It will all work out. God's mercies are new every morning.

 

God is so good. He protects and comforts and holds us when we are grieving or afraid. He also is with us when we face responsibilities we don't want or we aren't prepared for.

My heart is still tender after losing my son and tears are always on the edge of my eyes. I am also blessed to have new responsibilities to distract from these deeply painful times. 

At this time in my life I am now raising two of my grandsons. They are 10 and 13.  It's a long story that so many others are experiencing right now. Their single mother and her boyfriend have found themselves homeless. As they navigate their frightening new world I have taken in the boys, so they can have a stable place and go back to school and have solid nutritional meals.

This is challenging for all of us. I live in a 55+ community and I am not allowed to have minors living with me, so we/they live in secret. They are amazingly good and understanding boys. We have been living like this since January 2022. They missed two years of school due to the pandemic, but they are both getting back on track. We have had a myriad of hurdles to overcome, but God is opening doors and preparing the way for us to continue.

I'm so blessed to be a part of their lives and for them to help fill the emptiness in mine at this time.

 Grieving is so bitterly painful. It feels as though it will never end. At the same time not grieving anymore feels traitorous. I can never feel free of the grief I feel for the loss of my son. Everyday presents a new opportunity to start putting the grief behind me; or at least beside me and moving on to the next day and the next. However, every thought or spoken word or experience is a memory of what was or what was planned and it just hurts so bad. I know that God's mercies are new every morning and that is what I cling to.

 My son died yesterday.

 

 Last September my son (52) and I bought this manufactured home in a 55 and over park. I told you about that I think. Excuse me if I repeat myself. We thought it was going to be our forever home and we sat smiling and looking around thinking how we would make it "ours". Within two weeks things started going wrong. Well.....right away we found overwhelming evidence of rats and mice in the house. Call in the Orkin Man!!! Then the hot water heater died. Our home warranty was called and after $600 out of my pocket was shelled over we had a new hot water heater. 

I told you about my son being in ICU last February. He is now in a nursing home under hospice care. Alone I have had to empty 4 large storage units and bring everything home in order to save money and not lose this "mouse house". Every spare minute I have, and when visitors are allowed for hospice patients, I am at the nursing home with John. He is scared. According to the hospice doctor, John was not expected to live more than a few days when he was admitted. This is month three. He has an incredible will to live. He says he is not scared of dying, because Jesus lives in his heart and he knows where he is going, but he is a bit afraid of the journey, because he has to take it alone.

It's raining and cold outside today and I'm going to be busy trying to purge myself of most of what came home from storage. I may end up having an estate sale or something. Right now my rooms are wall to wall boxes, bins, totes, baskets, odds and ends of furniture, rolling tool boxes etc. Problems with the "mouse house" continue; non working light fixtures, garbage disposal backing up, antiquated appliances not performing. 

You know what? It will all work out. God's mercies are new every morning. God, just wrap your arms around John and his two children and give them peace and hope. Please meet them at their point of need, because you know what that is even if I don't. Praise you and thank you for your love. In Jesus name, Amen

.

 This is what I woke up to this morning. I have to admit that I had a serious talk with God about this. My son, John is in the ICU and it's really bad. I cannot drive up to the hospital in this snow that is covering a layer of ice and more freezing rain is falling on top of it. I am thankful that John is in good hands who are taking excellent care of him. He will be very disappointed that I can't get up there to see him.

 

Good Thursday Morning!! Here in Milwaukie, Oregon it is chilly, but not cold and it is wet, but not soaking. As I sit and enjoy my square of dark chocolate and my morning coffee, I am thankful that I can view the sunrise from my comfy chair. Some mornings it is stunning and colorful, but this morning it is overcast and gray. Still it is a new day and God's mercies are new every morning.

Also here in Oregon, senior citizens, fearing infection or worse, have been anxiously awaiting their turn to get the Covid vaccine. As their time approached, the governor announced that she has bumped them down on the list so as to immunize inmates in the jails and prisons. Teachers also were on the list to get their vaccines, but will have to wait for inmates. Go figure. As for me, I choose not to get the vaccine. 

For anyone that read my last post, I would like to say that my son, John still has his foot. Praise the Lord! He is still not out of the woods, but things are looking up. He spent several weeks in a rehabilitation facility, where they gave him the first dose of the Covid vaccine. He will have to go back in a couple of weeks for the second dose. 

My pugs are softly snoring and snuggled together this morning, but a couple of days ago we had a short lived sliver of sunshine coming in the window and they took full advantage it.

Oh, how I love those little dogs. John has a little dog also. His dog won't leave his side. 

Normally I would be taking my short walk around the neighborhood this morning, but John has a doctor appointment for his foot and we are getting ready to head out.

I hope all of you have a blessed day.

Sandra