Being a very old lady, raising pre-teen and tween boys is very challenging. I am blessed with the best boys ever, so it could be much harder. However, as good as they are, it can't change the challenges of old age. I now have to integrate their school schedules with my doctor appointments. I have to arrange alternate transportation at times due to the fact that I can't drive long distances, at night, in the rain. 

Money is an issue also. I've never asked for state aid and I don't have guardianship of the boys. I'm on a fixed income, so the boys and I plan each and every spending event. They are easy to please and so helpful. I am truly blessed.

One of the boys is home sick this week with a bad cold and the other one just got his very first student ID card. I am working with the school to get him into cross country running. He is so excited. It will all work out. God's mercies are new every morning.

 

God is so good. He protects and comforts and holds us when we are grieving or afraid. He also is with us when we face responsibilities we don't want or we aren't prepared for.

My heart is still tender after losing my son and tears are always on the edge of my eyes. I am also blessed to have new responsibilities to distract from these deeply painful times. 

At this time in my life I am now raising two of my grandsons. They are 10 and 13.  It's a long story that so many others are experiencing right now. Their single mother and her boyfriend have found themselves homeless. As they navigate their frightening new world I have taken in the boys, so they can have a stable place and go back to school and have solid nutritional meals.

This is challenging for all of us. I live in a 55+ community and I am not allowed to have minors living with me, so we/they live in secret. They are amazingly good and understanding boys. We have been living like this since January 2022. They missed two years of school due to the pandemic, but they are both getting back on track. We have had a myriad of hurdles to overcome, but God is opening doors and preparing the way for us to continue.

I'm so blessed to be a part of their lives and for them to help fill the emptiness in mine at this time.

 Grieving is so bitterly painful. It feels as though it will never end. At the same time not grieving anymore feels traitorous. I can never feel free of the grief I feel for the loss of my son. Everyday presents a new opportunity to start putting the grief behind me; or at least beside me and moving on to the next day and the next. However, every thought or spoken word or experience is a memory of what was or what was planned and it just hurts so bad. I know that God's mercies are new every morning and that is what I cling to.