Grieving is so bitterly painful. It feels as though it will never end. At the same time not grieving anymore feels traitorous. I can never feel free of the grief I feel for the loss of my son. Everyday presents a new opportunity to start putting the grief behind me; or at least beside me and moving on to the next day and the next. However, every thought or spoken word or experience is a memory of what was or what was planned and it just hurts so bad. I know that God's mercies are new every morning and that is what I cling to.